So this is Christmas...

So it's nearing the end of my twentieth Christmas, and I felt as though I should write a new blog post. I haven't written one in a while, and I felt as though I had something new to bring to the table

The traditional Christmas dinner in our household consists of: turkey, honey-roasted gammon, cauliflower cheese, broccoli, sprouts, carrots, roast parsnips and potatoes, pigs in blankets, Yorkshire puddings, chestnut stuffing, cranberry sauce and heavenly homemade gravy - ALL from scratch. Followed by the traditional brandy-soaked Christmas pudding with double cream. Very gorgeous, very fattening and very filling! Throughout the day we also indulge on Bucks Fizz, Champagne, Wine, Port, Perry, Scotch, Brandy, and choccies.

I am always surprised by the amount of presents I receive on Christmas now I'm a young adult. I only ever expect one or two little things, and yet my family and friends spend fortunes on presents for me, and I feel like such a princess, so spoilt, so loved. This, alongside food, is only a small part of why I enjoy Christmas so much.

Christmas is a time for giving, I must admit, the best part of Christmas, for me, is seeing your family and friends' faces when they open their presents on Christmas morning - the state of shock, happiness, and excitement. This year, as I have been working in a decent, full-time job for the first time since leaving education, I chose to spoil my parents and get them big presents - not your average chocolate or bath stuff Christmas. The look on their faces was priceless, they totally weren't expecting something like that, which I really enjoyed. I can't wait to see what my sister thinks to her presents when she visits from Derby in the New Year.

This is also the time of year where you need to spare a moment for those who are no longer with us, to absent friends, family and lovers. Without whom,  your life just wouldn't have turned out the same. I am so grateful to the people I have had in my life, present and past, I look forward to what the future holds. Like any normal family, we toast to those who aren't able to be at the dinner table with us each Christmas, and reminisce about Christmas years gone by and silly memories we have of people around the holidays.

Christmas is such a wonderful time of year, snow or no snow (more often not, as there's only been six white Christmases in the 20th Century in the UK) it is a beautiful holiday. It's bursting with love, food, alcohol, good company and millions of memories to be made.

I hope you all had a brilliant Christmas, and have a glamorous New Year.

Until next time, xoxoxo.

You always play the victim, but you were the problem to begin with.

Have you ever been in a situation, where you fall out with a friend, a lover, or a family member? And you stop and think about what they said, and realise that they were just trying to guilt-trip you and try to convince you that you were in the wrong, when in fact they were the problem from the beginning?

I'm all for backing down and apologising if I'm in the wrong, but when people constantly play the victim, it gets on my last nerve. It's almost as if they don't have the capacity to admit their fault and move on from it. I'd like to think that the people in my life are unique, and special and there for a reason, but I sometimes find myself questioning why I bother with some of them, as they never seem to return the favour.

Life's difficult, there are a lot of different paths that each and every one of us can follow. Myself, I intend to live a career-motivated life, so that I can fuel my social-butterfly lifestyle. Others, may pursue a marriage/family, to find the answer of existence or some other spiritual journey. I fully understand that people have committments other than a friendship/relationship/family tie, however, a bit of effort once in a while without being prompted would be lovely. Life is all about compromise, there has to be an element of give and take, otherwise all of the aforementioned relationships would not be successfully maintained.

Definitely in a more 'glass half empty' mood today, but take everything with a pinch of salt and things will get much better. Life isn't as bad as people make out, problems that may bring your whole world crashing down around you are easily solved if you sit down and think about it, people may have a reason for saying something that initially upset you, and no matter what, you can always rely on your true friends.

Until next time,

xoxoxo

But these are just thoughts, little matchbox...

I was fortunate enough to go to an Adam Cohen concert recently, and even more fortunate to have met him and have been told I was beautiful by him.

For those of you that don't know, Adam Cohen is the very talented son of the legendary Leonard Cohen. He is an inspiring musician and singer/songwriter. When I first got hold of his album 'Like A Man' I listened to it on repeat-nonstop for weeks, I played it when I went to bed, I listened to it non-stop at work, and I found myself lost in his music, losing myself in the lyrics, and searching for deeper/hidden meanings in all of the tracks. If you get a chance I would highly recommend you listen to three tracks in particular:  Matchbox, What Other Guy and Girls These Days. Prepare yourself for sheer brilliance, both lyrically and musically.

As well as being such a talented person, he was a genuinely lovely guy. He spoke eloquently with articulation, and sounded like such an intelligent individual. After speaking to him backstage, he seemed like an all-rounder. He inspired me to continue with my ambitions and continue working, as it will all pay off in the end.

I'll leave you with one of the quotes he used during the show, from Lenin:
"Sometimes decades pass and nothing happens; and then sometimes weeks pass and decades happen."
What I interpreted from this, was that life varies, and that you shouldn't sit and watch things pass you by, take everything as it comes and run with it - the only way is up and stay optimistic.

His music is truly beautiful, if my heart could speak, it would sound precisely like that.

It really is the little things...

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.
~Jacques Prévert

I'm in such a state of euphoria, I've had such a good few days. So this blog entry is dedicated to exactly that. The reason for my new-found happiness is threefold; it's fast approaching my nineteenth birthday, and I have a lot planned for it, I get to see Adam Cohen in concert with a lovely person, and I managed to buy some gorgeous dresses today, only to discover I've dropped a dress-size... RESULT.

I just wanted to point out, how the little things are enough to tip the scale and make someone's day/week/month. I've learnt that over the years, things aren't always going to go your way, so you might as well make the most of every little thing that makes you smile.  Life is full of ups and downs, and you need to hang on during the tough times to appreciate the good times.

Simple things can make or break a person's day, a simple compliment, a text, or even a friendly hello. I aim from this day forward, to try and make at least one person's day better - in any way, shape or form possible. It feels great to notice the happiness instilled over a period of time.

For now, I know this was a pretty pointless blog entry (as many of my entries are) but, I felt the need to share my happiness in the hope that it will get people thinking about how they act/speak to others, and try not to dwell on the bad things, and live life to the fullest, and thrive in the good moments.

It really is the little things in life that make ALL of the difference.

Until next time, xoxo

& whilst you ignore her, she's falling for someone else...

I recently stumbled across an article, and it concluded that based on a number of scientific studies the average crush lasts four months and if it lasts longer then you've fallen in love.
I was just wondering, how much time is wasted pining over someone. Looking back over the years, I'm pretty certain I wasted a lot of time thinking about or being with the wrong people. But, that's not what this blog post is about, I just had to get that little point out in the open. I apologise in advance for the lack of articulation in this post.

I've learnt over the years that, to keep someone interested, you have to make the effort, you can't expect them to do anything. The "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" mantra is complete nonsense, and if you start ignoring someone or not giving them as much attention as you used to - they're going to fall for someone else and fall out of love or lose any developing feelings for you in the meantime. Love is a complicated thing, it never comes around when you want it to, and when it does it's always at inappropriate times or it's something that has no future.

I'm currently in the situation described in the blog title. It's been playing on my mind a lot recently and basically, I don't know what is worth pursuing. On the one hand I'm completely smitten with someone and I feel safe around them, and we are never short of things to talk about, but on the other hand, I'm completely head over heels for the other person, I know there is a higher possibility of a future with them, and I get butterflies every time we speak. But it's a matter of head over heart, or heart over head. The earlier is losing my affection - I don't feel like I'm as important to them anymore, as they seem to putting less and less effort in than when everything began. However, the other person seems to be giving me more attention than ever before, is being sweet, considerate, and I know I can rely on them.

So the decision is definitely a 'to be continued'.

Without obstacles how would you ever know what you are capable of?

We are faced with challenges and opportunities every single day- both full of positives and negatives. Life is all about how you deal with the hand you are dealt.

We live in a land of opportunity, not of entitlement. Without obstacles and challenges, how would we ever know what we are capable of. I am a firm believer in making the most of every situation, and being optimistic with anything that comes your way. If you have the determination to succeed, there is no reason why you would not achieve what you set out to achieve.
I recently started a new career, and so far it is a lot to remember, and I know that it's the beginning of a huge journey, and a huge learning curve - one that will bring many obstacles, and I intend to develop my abilities and hopefully strive to better myself in as many different aspects as possible.

Obstacles are the trials life throws at us, to determine how strong we are, and what we are capable of in the long run. Determination and positivity is key, and we all know our own strengths and weaknesses through our past experiences - that's what makes us who we are.

I realise this isn't as articulate as my other blog posts - but it's hard to keep to the same standard when there are a lot of things buzzing through my mind at 100mph. So I do apologise for that, but when I have more time I will come back and write something more in 'my style'.

Until next time - xoxo.

Sometimes you have to stand alone, to prove that you can still stand.

I have many friends that are unhappy in relationships (as well as those that are completely head-over-heels in love). However, I've come to the conclusion that being single is not a status. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.


Is being single a choice or merely a misfortune? Many people, girls in particular, believe that being single is a misfortune, and they view it as nobody wants to be with them. I used to be one of those girls. It can be a serious confidence knock to see all of your closest friends in happy relationships, when you're not even being asked out on dates. I know you should always be happy for your friends, but it's nice to take some time out and think about yourself every now and again. I now believe, that you need to make the most of being single, dancing the night away with your single girls and boys, and getting up to all sorts of antics. You only live once - why waste it?

"Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."
- Sex and the City
The quote above sums up how everybody should think about themselves, without self-confidence life is a hard, complex thing. Life would be much easier and would be much more enjoyable if people were more optimistic. I intend to take as much time as I need to decide how I want my life to pan out, and even more time to decide who I want to spend my life with. I'm in no rush to try and find my "perfect ending" I'm eighteen going on nineteen, I still have many more mistakes to make, and more experience to gain throughout my life before I settle down. I'm still single, and I have been for a fair few months now, 13 months to be precise. Do I want that to change? Of course I do, but like I said, I'm in no rush, and the real crux of the matter is - who is brave enough to step up to the challenge?

I have many fond memories of past relationships, and I wouldn't change them, nor would I wish that they hadn't have ended. As clichee as it is, everything happens for a reason, and if it was meant to be, it would happen. I am a firm believer in fate, and I know that someday, whether it be next month, year, in twenty years time or maybe more, I will get what I deserve, and be living my life to the fullest, and pushing, striving to be the best I can be - whether that be in a relationship or single.

Sometimes you really do have to stand alone to prove that you can still stand, after being in a long term relationship, you have been a part of a couple that merges into the same person 'Brangelina' syndrome, so it's hard to break free of that. I truly believe, that you shouldn't have to compromise who you are for the person that you are dating. They fell for you how you were, so why should you have to change? Single is not a negative thing, more people need to enjoy it, make the most of it, because there is no point in dwelling on something you do not have, instead, you should focus on the things you do have, remove pessimism and embrace optimism.

Never regret anything. If it's good, it's a memory. If it's bad, it's an experience.

"Never regret anything. If it's good, it's a memory. If it's bad, it's an experience"
A mantra to live by.
I've always believed in the idea that it is better to regret something you have done, than regret something you didn't do. Recently, I've come to the conclusion that you shouldn't regret anything, because for that moment in time, that is the one thing you wanted more than anything in the world.

I may not be perfect, far from it in fact, but I know what I want in life. I've experienced a lot of things in my life, and even though certain times have been hard, I wouldn't change them, for it has made me the person I am today. I have made some wrong decisions over the years - some more recent than others, and I have made some right decisions.

Stop and think for a moment, can anyone honestly say they are completely happy in their own skin? Unfortunately, I don't think this is true, you're always going to have some insecurities, and a lot of these are generated from past experiences - something I know all too well! Recently, I have been in situations, that I wouldn't even imagine myself in, and I over-analyse everything that goes on, so I tell myself that maybe it isn't such a good idea, but I can't seem to tear myself away from it. Something deep down is pulling me towards it, and something is telling me to carry on. Old habits die hard, so regretting something I've done rather than regretting something I didn't - seems to make more sense to me.

Life is short, so you might as well go and live it to the fullest! My mother's always told me, that you need to seize the moment, and put your all into everything you do, and that's what I intend on doing. By using my past experiences as fuel for bettering myself, and for getting on the right path in life.

I'm stronger because of my hard times, wiser because of my mistakes, happier because of my sad experiences, and smarter because of my moments of confusion. I am who I am, my experiences have made me, and I have learnt never to regret anything, bad things are all down to experience, and good things are all fond memories.

What do you do, when you know something's bad for you, and you still can't let go?

Anyone can tell you, that being a teenager is hard work. Being female makes it so much harder. So many thoughts parading through my mind, I find it hard to sleep at night, just because my brain doesn't stop ticking, not even for a second.

Do you ever get that feeling, that you want something but you know it's bad for you? I do, and I wonder, why do we get ourselves into such sticky situations? When we know that it's all going to go rotten somewhere down the line. So why don't we save the heartache and just fight the urge and walk away to begin with?

In this day and age, it's hard to tell who is genuine and what emotions are genuine. I've been in many situations, where I thought someone loved me, later to realise that it was completely artificial. Call me old fashioned, but I'm the type of girl that will wear her heart on her sleeve, because I know how much pain and confusion can be created through such a masquerade. Another thing that I've noticed over the years, is that you can't tell your heart who to fall for, and that is one of the most scariest things. I'm so used to being in control of everything, that when I develop feelings for someone, I get knocked for six. I don't think people realise just how powerful emotions can be, and what effect it can have on everyday life.

I believe that everyone inherits a conscience from birth, and that it develops over the years through the environment you grow up in. I like to think of mine, as a kind of 'Jiminy Cricket' sort of entity, that steers me to right, and away from wrongdoing. Of course life is a learning curve, and mistakes will occur, but conscience helps you separate right from wrong. The conscience is very much like an internal parental figure if you will. Through experience you realise what is right and wrong, and from this you can apply your morals and virtues to any given situation.

This links me back to the title of this blog entry "What do you do, when you know something's bad for you, and you still can't let go?" This relates to a guy in my life. Over the past few months the relationship has developed and things have gotten more complicated as the days go by. I tell myself that it's a dead-end road, but something deep inside of me, tells me to carry on. I know that I'm going to end up being the one hurting, and I know he'll be completely oblivious to it all - boys will be boys. So I wonder, why has my 'Jiminy Cricket' prevented me from walking away? Surely, the conscience should steer me clear of such a hazardous situation.

My mind is officially in overdrive, my emotions are like venom seeping through my veins, dangerous territory. I can't put into words how conflicted I'm feeling currently, all I know is that deep down in the pit of my stomach, something doesn't feel right. What do you do, when you know something's bad for you, and you still can't let go? - I'm so naïve.

There's nothing wrong with a bit of rebellion.

From a young age, we are somewhat brainwashed into thinking and acting in a certain way. Society premeditates how we are going to live our lives, whether it be through gender, nationality, sexuality or status.

I have been wondering, why humanity insists on following such an obsolete set of so-called 'norms'?
We are given one of the most powerful things in life - freedom. Why do so many people choose to live up to society's demands, rather than break the mold? I have one topic in mind, although there are many others that I could have discussed alongside this initial insight. However, this is something that has been plaguing me a lot recently. The topic I have in mind, which I think is very prominent from a woman's point of view, is the idea that our overriding purpose is to marry and reproduce.

My initial thoughts are that there is nothing wrong with choosing your own destiny. I am a strong believer in living your own life, making your own mistakes and following your own path. My one pet peeve is the fact that we are given the right to choose, and we are given the freedom to make our own decisions, and so few people do what they want to do in life, as they fear what others may think or say about them. I'm forced to ask - why should we all live under a dark cloud? Why should we all live life in the same way? Surely, there is more to life than marriage and children.

In my personal opinion, marriage is solely for those wanting to start a family, as I believe that you do not need a piece of paper to prove you love someone. Love is the joining of two souls, not a bogus ceremony with a piece of paper saying you must be faithful and all that lark. If you love someone, you shouldn't have to make that promise, it should come without saying.

I know I'm still young, but I do think that I have my head screwed on. I do believe that we are, as previously mentioned "born in a land of opportunity", which leads me to point out, that I am not planning on following society's demands, and that there is nothing wrong with a bit of rebellion. I do not wish to get married, and at this stage, I do not wish to have children. I'd be quite happy with a healthy and loving relationship and being able to live life to the fullest, because after all, is that not what life is about? People that engage in no-strings-attached relationships have something right, by ridding of the commitment, they have time to explore their desires, and what they truly want in life. Every person should be able to make that decision for themselves, and not have guilt or judgement placed upon them by society.

If you were to ask me which path I was going to embark upon, I would have to tell you, I'm not quite sure. I am a hopeless romantic at heart, but I've had my heart trodden on enough to know, that there is no such thing as the 'perfect relationship'. So, I am waiting for the right time, and the right person to come along, so that the doubts fade away, and everything becomes clear. Until then, I am going to take a look at all of my options in life, and take control of my life, there's nothing wrong with a bit of rebellion now and then. Choosing to live your life by your own accord, is the greatest freedom you will ever have - believe me.

We live in a land of opportunity, not of entitlement.

Success is for the ones who step through the door of opportunity. Hold on to your dream, fight for it, and make it become reality. I've recently started on this journey, and so far, I'm winning.

I have been going through the long and tiring process of finding my first proper full-time job. I had to go through a series of CV/applicant sifts, phone interviews, psychometric tests and of course the dreaded final interview. After first applying for the position in the first week of May, I finally got the phone call, to offer me the position that I had been working so hard to attain. Opportunities are always around, in life you have to go searching from time to time, as they aren't offered to you on a silver platter. I've learnt that, when other aspects in your life may be going awry or just not as you had hoped, opportunity comes in other aspects to take your mind off of it. Life is such a clichee, it really is like a rollercoaster with all of it's ups and downs, you just have to buckle yourself in and enjoy the ride, however terrifying it may be at times.

I am the type of person that will work myself to breaking point, in order to make something of myself. I am a very determined individual, and I put my all into everything I do. I honestly think that I am a prime example for those struggling to find the motivation to carry on. I have worked hard throughout school, sixth form and various part-time jobs/volunteering in order to give myself decent building blocks in life. I've had setbacks over the years, but I've battled through them all. I'm still here determined as ever and it's paid off! Of course I have days where the pessimism takes over me - but who doesn't?!

Life is what you make of it, you need to grab it with both hands. You're only given one lifetime, so spend it wisely! You don't want to live with regrets, and you want to make all of your dreams a reality, afterall, we really do live in a land of opportunity, and not of entitlement. If you live life expecting everything to just fall into place on it's own, you won't get very far. Take life into your own hands and MAKE that opportunity a reality. Be positive, be determined, and most of all - follow your dreams!

Moving forwards, because backwards is no longer an option.

I've been thinking a lot recently about how we as human beings take a lot of things to heart, too much in fact. Life is too short to be letting negatives take over your life. Everyone is bound to have weaknesses, and everyone is bound to have moments when they feel like giving up - but it's just not worth it. Life's there for living, you need to grab opportunities with both hands, and it's time to strengthen and grow.

I've got the best family I could ask for, they are always there to support me through every little decision I make. They are there to advise me when things get tough, and even if I choose to act differently, they are there to pick up the pieces if it all goes awry. I can't even begin to explain how much love I have for my family, yes we bicker from time to time, and thing's aren't always plain sailing, but they've been there when I've hit rock bottom, and when nobody else was there to build me back up. My family are my rock, without them I don't know where I'd be now.

Friends come and go, but there are a few in my life that are in it for the long haul. I've learnt in life that you can count your true friends on one hand, and my parents have always said that to me. I have a lot of acquaintances in my life, which although we have a lovely time when we spend time together, they wouldn't be the people I'd call in case of emergency, and they wouldn't necessarily be the first in line if I had news to tell. I'm also well aware that a friendship worth keeping is one that is two-way, not one-way, and I have cut strings from a lot of 'friendships' in the past that were all take, take, take. I thank everyone that has come in and out of my life over the years, because they have had a part in making me who I am, whether it be a minuscule part or one that's ongoing. To those that are sticking around - thanks for the memories and many more to come.

My life may not always be roses and confetti, but by having a positive outlook, the negatives aren't so prominent, and I have time to appreciate what I do have in my life, because I do have it a lot better than a lot of people in the world, and I'm so very thankful for that. I'm moving forwards, and I'm not going to look backwards anymore, it's no longer an option. Here's to the future, and to all my dreams coming true.

Have you ever strolled down Memory Lane and remembered you don't live there anymore?

Have you ever strolled down Memory Lane and remembered you don't live there anymore?
I have, and it has positive and negative effects, depending on which part of Memory Lane you're reminiscing about.

Firstly, when strolling down Memory Lane recently, I was thinking, are exes, exes for a reason? Everybody has someone in their past that they cannot forget and will always feel something towards. I recently found myself shocked, when I found out that an ex had gotten engaged, and is pretty serious about it all. Of course I'm happy for them, and I'm happy to see that things are progressing, but I couldn't help but ponder over our past. We were on and off for the most part of my teenage years, and as a result, he is referred to as "THE" ex, as he's the one I spent the most time with, and arguably felt the most for. This then led me on to think, after having him break-up with his now fiancee only two short months ago to try and get back with me, how serious can this proposed marriage be? Also, why there is such a need for certain family members to contact me out of the blue, to inform me that the date has been set, the dress has been bought, family members are booking time to travel over for the wedding. After all, I am the ex, I am not part of their lives anymore, so why go through the trouble of trying to get me involved? And magically when the couple have an argument I get the blame for problems - funny that?

Anyway, long story short, this got me to thinking "Are exes, exes for a reason?". I mean, you have many happy memories, and you must have seen something special in them at some stage, so when do you start referring to someone as "the ex" I mean sure, after you break up they are no longer the boyfriend/girlfriend/partner etc, but do you automatically refer to them as an ex? And is there a reason to refer to them as an ex? A wise friend of mine once said to me:
"An ex is called an ex, because they are an EXample of someone you shouldn't be with, and an EXample of what not to look for" - which has gotten me through a lot over the years. People change, things change, but is that really a reason to look back at a relationship with clenched fists and grinding teeth? Why as human beings, or maybe I'm being too general and it's a teenage girl thing, but why do we dwell on those things that went wrong in a relationship? And why do we not instead dote on the things that went right, and reminisce about all the cute little love letters, the dates you went on, the silly inside jokes, and the time you spent together just being comfortable with one another?

Regret is such a strong word, and I can honestly, hand on my heart, say that I don't regret anything. I may look back at things and think "WOW that was a stupid thing to do" but I wouldn't change it for the world, it's shaped me and it has made me the person I am today. Another quote that has gotten me through a lot in the past is that "Life is like photography, we take a lot of photographs, but you need the negatives to develop and to find beauty".

Have you ever strolled down Memory Lane and remembered you don't live there anymore? I have, and I'm having realisations every day, and I know that the future will be worth it, and I am awaiting that happy ending with baited breath.

Realisation

The mind of a teenage girl is somewhat complicated. It's a confusing mix of emotions, dreams, ever-expanding knowledge and junk food (usually).
Not a moment goes by when some form of drama isn't going on in a girl's life, and the best way to deal with that as an outsider looking in, is to always be there, offer a hug - do not under any circumstances keep plaguing her to tell you what's wrong, she will tell you in her own time. Being eighteen is far from easy, you aren't quite an adult, in the way that you are still naive to a lot of the world, and you aren't quite as knowledgeable as you often think you are. Book smart and street smart are two very different things, and that alongside a bit of common sense never goes a miss in the real world.
I have learnt that over the years friendships will be made and broken over stupid little things, and you'll have sudden realisations that so called 'friends' are not really friends at all. Although it may hurt to begin with, you realise that it's for the best, and you need to take the negatives to develop and move on in life. My parents have always told me that you can count your true friends on one hand, and I genuinely believe in that, I have many acquaintances in life, many friends, but only a selection of true friends, and I hold them close to my heart.
I have also learnt that you will get judged for every little thing you do, from the clothes you wear, to your hair colour or style, to your music tastes, interests, choice of friends, choice in relationships and even down to your family or even something as petty as a Facebook status update or not replying to an email/text quick enough. I have realised how important it is not to listen to haters in life, you only have one life, and no matter what you do or who you are - you're never gonna keep everyone happy, so why don't you start with making yourself happy, and your true friends and family, and all the other little pieces will fall right into place.
As clichee as this is going to sound, life really is an emotional rollercoaster, I don't care what anybody says, but everyone deals with it differently, and unless you have walked a mile in their shoes, then you shouldn't judge how they react/deal with different problems that arise.
Dear parents/friends etc - you need to realise that we will constantly ask for your advice, and come to you with every little problem that comes our way, and you need to be prepared for us to do the complete opposite, because it's our life, and we need to learn our own lessons. But we don't need the "I told you so..." talk over and over, all we need is a hug and consolation that everything is going to be okay. We will have relationships that go wrong, we will choose friendships we shouldn't, we will do things that are bad for us and regret it, as well as messing up our priorities, but it's what scientists and psycho-analysts call a learning curve. I realise that it must be frustrating for an outsider looking in, but you need to realise that we need to live our own lives, and we need to establish ourselves in the world, and we need guidance, that doesn't mean we are going to live exactly by what we are advised to do - sorry to disappoint.
I have experienced so many amazing things in my life, I have enjoyed a number of sporting successes, educational successes, personal goals and amazing memories with family and friends over the years, and none of these would be possible without all the negatives that life has thrown my way. I want to thank everybody that has been in my life, whether it be for a short time or for the long haul, you have all shaped me to be the person that I am today, and I wouldn't change anything, not even the negatives.

So next time you see someone you love/care about upset, instead of question them - give them a hug? They'll appreciate it a lot more.

Until next time, much love. xo

Has 'love' lost all meaning?

One of my pet peeves, is the use of the word 'love'. I hate how it is thrown around so easily nowadays, it renders the term meaningless, and it's lost it's effect in day to day life. I don't understand how people can say they are "in love" with someone after knowing/being in a relationship less than a month, often even less than that. I guess I'm quite traditional, and I think that society misses the whole chivalry aspect, I don't think that people try as much as they used to, and too many relationships are made and broken online. Call me old-fashioned, but I'd rather be spoken to in person and asked out on a proper date, rather than get a text message or Facebook message asking me to go somewhere.

Another thing that I strongly dislike is infidelity. I really don't understand the concept. If you are unhappy enough to cheat, then why don't you take a second and ask yourself, why you are in the relationship? Is it not easier to break off the relationship, and save the fall from grace, the loss of respect, and trust? I don't understand what goes through a persons mind to make them do such a thing. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned in that respect as well.

On the more positive side of things, when approached correctly, I do believe that relationships are worth fighting for. Throughout my life, I have been surrounded by people in both good and bad relationships, and I cannot help but learn from their experiences. I am the type of person that will absorb everything that is going on around me, and use them to develop. I have the heart of a hopeless romantic, and the thought of someone making the effort to write me a song/poem, buy me my favourite flowers for no reason, or just compliments me when I'm feeling low - makes me feel all warm inside. For a relationship to flourish in my eyes, there needs to be that element of romance, maybe not all of the time, but it needs to be there. The perfect relationship, in my opinion, consists of two souls destined to find eachother, the kind of love where you can finish eachothers' sentences, and I'll leave you all with one of my favourite quotes I stumbled across one day...

"When you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant."

– Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies

My first blog post.

Well, I kept telling myself that I needed to start up a blog over the years, and fast approaching my nineteenth birthday, I've managed to do so. I'm a very opinionated person, and I'm the type of person that will always have a lot to say. I'm a firm believer in following your dreams, you should always put your all into everything you do, and pursue happiness, whatever it means to you.

 I've experienced a lot of things during my life, that I wouldn't wish upon anybody else, but I use them everyday to strengthen my mind, body and soul. Perhaps the most influential moments in my life were somewhat negative, but from negatives you can develop and grow. My family mean the absolute world to me, and without them, I wouldn't be the person I am today, so I want to take this opportunity to thank them, and one of my main aims in life is to make them proud. I'm your average teenage girl, I make mistakes, I ask for advice and do the opposite, and come running back when things go awry, I can be ecstatic one moment, and in floods of tears the next, but I wouldn't change that for the world. I may not be a perfect human being, but it's all about loving what you have, and making the most of every single moment.

I am very passionate about my sport, I love football, and I am a proud Arsenal supporter. In my spare time I train in Martial Arts - Kinjite Ryu, in which I hold a Brown Belt which is grade 3kyu. I love learning new things and I am willing to try anything that is thrown my way sports wise. You don't know what you can achieve unless you try. I have loved education throughout my life, and I am proud to have 12 decent GCSE's, a Sports Leadership qualification, 2 AS Levels and 3 full A-Levels under my belt, I have been accepted into University, but I am hoping to go straight into work, as with experience I can excel in my chosen field.

Eighteen is a funny ol' age, you're neither here nor there, you don't have a firm grasp on reality just yet, but at the same time you aren't naive and you are beginning to realise how the world really works. It's the age where friendships are tested through educational/work related choices, when relationships are just as easily made as they are broken, and when you start to realise, that growing up has to happen a LOT sooner than you had first planned when you were younger. There are many laughs and tears and memories to be made, yet I wouldn't want to change it. Life's a challenge, rise to/above it. There's not much I have to say, but this is a little introduction to my happy bubble life...

Until next time, take care of yourselves,
xoxox