What do you do, when you know something's bad for you, and you still can't let go?

Anyone can tell you, that being a teenager is hard work. Being female makes it so much harder. So many thoughts parading through my mind, I find it hard to sleep at night, just because my brain doesn't stop ticking, not even for a second.

Do you ever get that feeling, that you want something but you know it's bad for you? I do, and I wonder, why do we get ourselves into such sticky situations? When we know that it's all going to go rotten somewhere down the line. So why don't we save the heartache and just fight the urge and walk away to begin with?

In this day and age, it's hard to tell who is genuine and what emotions are genuine. I've been in many situations, where I thought someone loved me, later to realise that it was completely artificial. Call me old fashioned, but I'm the type of girl that will wear her heart on her sleeve, because I know how much pain and confusion can be created through such a masquerade. Another thing that I've noticed over the years, is that you can't tell your heart who to fall for, and that is one of the most scariest things. I'm so used to being in control of everything, that when I develop feelings for someone, I get knocked for six. I don't think people realise just how powerful emotions can be, and what effect it can have on everyday life.

I believe that everyone inherits a conscience from birth, and that it develops over the years through the environment you grow up in. I like to think of mine, as a kind of 'Jiminy Cricket' sort of entity, that steers me to right, and away from wrongdoing. Of course life is a learning curve, and mistakes will occur, but conscience helps you separate right from wrong. The conscience is very much like an internal parental figure if you will. Through experience you realise what is right and wrong, and from this you can apply your morals and virtues to any given situation.

This links me back to the title of this blog entry "What do you do, when you know something's bad for you, and you still can't let go?" This relates to a guy in my life. Over the past few months the relationship has developed and things have gotten more complicated as the days go by. I tell myself that it's a dead-end road, but something deep inside of me, tells me to carry on. I know that I'm going to end up being the one hurting, and I know he'll be completely oblivious to it all - boys will be boys. So I wonder, why has my 'Jiminy Cricket' prevented me from walking away? Surely, the conscience should steer me clear of such a hazardous situation.

My mind is officially in overdrive, my emotions are like venom seeping through my veins, dangerous territory. I can't put into words how conflicted I'm feeling currently, all I know is that deep down in the pit of my stomach, something doesn't feel right. What do you do, when you know something's bad for you, and you still can't let go? - I'm so naïve.