'Tis the season...

So, with Christmas Day almost done and dusted, I want to take the opportunity to count my blessings for the most amazing people in my life, and remember those that are no longer with us.

Christmas 2013 was spent with my Mum, Dad, Gran and Uncle (and the dogs; Luna and Oliver). Unfortunately I didn't get to spend it with my Sister or my perfect Boyfriend who are up North with family and the in-laws. I get a little sad looking round the Christmas table, and remembering those that should be here, but instead are enjoying dinner up in heaven. It's a family tradition to toast to absent family and friends, and to give thanks for the wonderful people we have in our lives.

I was completely spoilt rotten with an abundance of presents; from an amazing Tour of the Emirates stadium with an Arsenal legend, Pandora bracelet charms, slippers, socks, underwear, chocolates and treats, candles, phone book and diary sets, alcohol, a boofle teddy and lots of gorgeous bits and bobs.

I managed to spoil my family and my boyfriend with a tonne of gifts, luckily this year I started early enough so that finances weren't too much of an issue. I am looking forward to going to see Katy Perry live in concert with Peter as part of the gift I bought him, and I'm really looking forward to catching up with him and seeing how his family Christmas panned out. This is our second Christmas together that we haven't been able to spend together. Fingers crossed for 2014 that in some way we get to spend the day together!

I want to wish all the best for the final few days of the year, and I really hope that there are more amazing memories to add to the collection in the New Year.

Until next time, xoxo.

Peter, my one true love.

Peter,

From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were going to be a really important person in my life. Something in my head just told me to get to know you, speak to you a little more, find everything out about you.

We had so many different opportunities to meet each other, but I suppose that everything does happen for a reason, and we were destined to meet at a mutual friend's house, on another friend's leaving do. From that day on, I've never once looked back. You've turned my world upside down, but it's made me realise, for all this time, it was my life that was topsy turvy, and you came into my life to put it right, to finally make some sense out of it.

We fast became close, speaking almost every day, well into each autumn night, until you invited me round after a social event, to get ready, have some wine and head out for a night on the tiles. But, if you remember rightly - we never did get there, did we? We had way much more fun chatting, getting to know one another further, laughing, joking, and drinking wine without a care in the world.

A few weeks later I took some time off of work to meet you and your cousin in London, it was like walking on a cloud, I couldn't stop looking into your eyes - perhaps gazing to see what the future could hold. The following day on October 5th 2012, you asked me to be your girlfriend, and made me the happiest girl on the planet. 

A little over a year has passed, and we've had so many beautiful memories. From holidays to Lanzarote, Corfu and Tenerife, trips around the country to zoos, sealife centres, markets, shopping centre, beaches, spas, historic little towns - just to name a few! 

It still amazes me each and every day, that I get to call you my own. You've always been out of my league, and I count my lucky stars that you've chosen me to be your girlfriend. I'll take however long it needs to prove how much you mean to me - you're my best friend, soul mate, significant other, and my kindred spirit. Without you, life would cease to make sense. 

I never want to live in a world without you, you are my sunshine, the air that I breathe, and the blood coursing through my veins. You are my missing puzzle piece, the key to my heart, and the glisten in my eye.

I hope you know just how much you mean to me, I cannot wait to see what lies ahead of us, all of the new adventures, the happy memories to be made, and sharing our lives together.

Peter Seng Ow-Yong, you complete me. I love you with all of my mind, body and soul. I shall cherish you in my heart for as long as we both shall live, and nothing or nobody will be able to change that. Baby you're my world, my life, my everything.

<3

Do you ever get that feeling, that you're a bit of an outsider? Well, I've got to admit, it's not the nicest position to be in, and is a somewhat uncomfortable experience.

Sometimes I find myself being submerged into an environment with people I don't know particularly well. That's fine, because most of the time you can make new friends, new work colleagues, form new relationships and contacts. However, on the odd occasion, these opportunities for inclusiveness can be stunted by people revealing their true colours. I had a sudden realisation recently, that maybe, just maybe, the reason people are so judgemental is a defence mechanism. We're always told to trust our instincts, but within the same breath 'never to judge a book by its cover'. Somewhat contradicting, don't you think? Anyway, if we are to trust our instincts, if you immediately don't get on with someone or get 'bad vibes' from a person, you should give them a second chance, right? Well, what happens after this point, do they get a third, fourth, and fifth chance?

I don't mean to include so many clichees, but a cheetah cannot change its spots. In the same way that a human ultimately cannot change innate qualities. It's perfectly normal not to click with everyone, which brings me to the point of this post:

"What do you do, when you're an outsider looking in, and you're given such an insight, that you realise what people are really like - and don't like what you see".

I've always prided myself on being a pretty good judge of character, but I'll hold my hands up and say that I have been mistaken in the past. I find it frustrating if not a little confusing, when you see the flip side to someone you thought was nice, but by the same token if someone you thought wasn't so nice, actually has a heart of gold. I just cannot comprehend why human nature has evolved in the way of fascades. Why not be yourself? You cannot act in one way and talk down someone to one set of people, and then to that person be best friends - that's just not right, and just plan conceited.

I'm sometimes glad to detatch myself from certain groupings, just because I do not want to get caught up in all of the dramas and arguments going on behind everyone's backs. I thought we were all adults - we're not on the playground anymore (and it wasn't big, nor clever back then either). Some people see it as the easy way out, and I just see it as removing stress and taking control of my own life. Of course, this can backfire, and have the opposite effect and create paranoia as well as insecurities in yourself. If someone can talk about someone like this to you - who's to say they're not doing the same about you to somebody else?

Life really is a mystery, and just when I think I've got people sussed out - the whole world crumbles around me. I'm so lucky to have an amazing family and the best partner I could ever even dream of, I just sometimes feel like there's a little piece of me missing, I kind of need something to fit that gap. However, with society developing as it is, do I really want to risk getting involved, just in case it enriches and improves my way of life? I'm undecided.

To be continued...

Until next time; xoxo

I've caught the lovebug...

I've caught the love bug, and it's bitten me hard.

Disregard all of what I've said and known, for I did not know true love, until I met him. In previous years I've been a victim of what only can be called 'infatuation', but there's something about this time, that makes me think believe that I've found what everyone has always talked about, true love.

Just as an old flame was fizzling out, a hopeful little ember ignited my hopes once more. From out of nowhere he seemed to arrive, when my skies were clouding over and turning grey, a ray of sunshine shone through. It was something so unexpected and so exciting, it's something you can only imagine, and something that dreams are made of.

I'd always told myself that I wouldn't allow myself to fall so hard for someone, and I always told myself that I wouldn't even contemplate pursuing someone that works in the same company as I do - but this time it's different. I'd spotted someone around work, someone with an aura of mystery, someone I instantly felt magnetised towards. Who was he? What was his name? I didn't have a clue, all I knew, is that I had to find out, somehow. In the coming weeks there were a few socials and coincidentally, he was invited to get ready at a mutual friends house, and then we all headed out on the town together. I could feel the chemistry straight away, the question was, did he feel the same way? I went into school-girl mode and suddenly all logic closed down as we danced on the dancefloor, when normally I'd feel quite confident, all I wanted to do was kiss him, but I never conjured up enough courage. As a last ditch attempt, when I was waiting for a taxi, I asked him for his number so that I could find out when he was home safe (smooth, right?!).

We started talking more and more after this, we became connected via social networking sites and we started texting, and getting to know one another. With every message exchanged, I could feel myself pining for him, something that was so new, and so unusual for me, yes I'd had crushes before, but nothing quite as earth-shattering as this. As time went by, work put on a 'It's a Knockout' family fun day in the summer, fun and games, banter and food. The team I represented won the competition by one point, and his team came second - instant playful bragging rights. At the end of the day, after having some laughs and getting to know eachother even further, we decided we'd rally the troops and go out for the evening with some friends for some drinks, so he invited me over for drinks. Wow, was this really happening? Was everything falling into place?

Later that night once I'd gotten all of the bubbles and grass out of my hair from running around in fields in competition, and after a few panics and a few outfit choices later, I arrived at his house with a couple of bottles of wine. We got to talking again, and everything flowed so perfectly, I felt like I was on cloud nine. As the conversation continued to flow, we weren't even aware of the time slipping away, and we just kept having so much fun together, lots of laughs and a few flirts. When the time felt right, we were playing and I removed a flag from over his head and leant in and kissed him - and he kissed back. The night was pure perfection, words cannot even describe how incredible it was, my heart was racing, my mind in knots, and my stomach full of fluttering butterflies, I think I've found the one.

I'll keep you posted on this one...

Until next time xoxoxo

(Aug 2012)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An update:

The supposed 'one'? well, now I can happily say that he is my boyfriend, and has been since the 5th October 2012. We have shared some amazing times together, with trips to London, Bristol, Swindon, Birmingham, Nottingham, Lichfield and Loughborough, Reading etc, and a lovely holiday to sunny Fuerteventura. I cannot imagine my life without him, he really is my kindred spirit, my star in the night sky, and my knight in shining armour.

The past 3 months have been the best I have experienced in a very long time, not only have I found a boyfriend, but a best friend, a soul-mate and my true love. He makes the world a truly beautiful place, and not only do I feel happier with him around, but my life is starting to fall into place, he makes me forget all my troubles, and give me hope once more. To know that I have someone so jaw-droppingly incredible, spurs me on, gives me something in life to fight for. He is my inspiration, motivation and I can think of nobody better to spend the rest of my life with - and it's only early days!

We make sure we make the time we spend together special, from shopping in different cities, to ice skating, bowling, clubbing, dining and even sitting in complete silence, and feeling completely comfortable with one another. He doesn't need to even try, he is effortlessly the most important aspect of my life, and for the first time, I can see myself planning my life not around my circumstances, but with someone - and nothing makes me more ecstatic than that.

I don't know if he'll ever get to read this, but with baited breath, I sit back and wonder whether he'd find it hopelessly romantic, or just cringe-worthy, but nevertheless, I care about him more than anything, and more than I could ever even comprehend even a few months ago.

Peter Seng Ow-Yong - I love you baby.

Until next time;

xoxo

(Jan 2013)

Weight - the only thing I'm losing this year...

Seen as though it's a new year, it's going to be a new and improved me. The latter part of 2012 was amazing, not only did things start to fall into place with work, pay and travel, but I have found what I would call, my kindred spirit. 2013 is a year for making a change, making things better and living a happier lifestyle.

At work we run a £ for lb challenge, which is where the company donates £1 for every pound in weight lost by each participant. The scheme runs for 11 weeks and you are able to weigh-in as little and often as you like. The minimum is the start weigh-in and the final weigh-in which is around Good Friday.

The charity our company has chosen this year, is Parkinsons UK, so I am looking forward to raising money for such a valuable charity. Parkinsons is a degenerative disorder of the central nervous system. The symptoms of Parkinson's disease result from the death of dopamine-generating cells in a specific region of the brain. People that suffer with Parkinson's have movement-related symptoms such as shaking, rigity, slowness of movement, difficulty with walking and later on cognitive problems may arise with dementia being a common occurrence. Currently scientists and medics are researching ways to combat symptoms of Parkinson's, and the money we raise will hopefully contribute to this and make Parkinson's disease sufferers and their loved ones more comfortable and give them the quality of life that they deserve.

So, what am I going to do? Well, after weighing in this morning, it has been confirmed that Christmas does indeed add a few pounds to your waistline, BUT the more weight I carry now, the more I can lose and the more money can go to charity in the end (at least that's what I tell myself!). My current BMI is sitting at 25, which, for my height is considered as healthy on the scale, but it's right at the higher end. So, I will aim to get somewhere in the middle of the healthy weight scale.

My plan is to lose between a stone and a stone & a half. I will try and weigh-in every fortnight to see progress, and if progress is high, I may change my weigh-ins to weekly up until the end. I'm cutting my carb intake and increasing the amount of water I am drinking, to try and help speed things along. I've stocked up my fridge with grapes, bananas, lettuce, carrots, plum tomatoes, peppers and chicken for dinners. I have placed them all in front of the goodies that remain from the festive period, to remove temptation from immediate view. I am going back to Netball League after the Christmas break, and I am also back to swimming at least 2 tiimes a week. I will also do simple things such as walk the dog (my mum currently does it, so she will get double the walks and spoilt!), a few sit-ups in the morning/before bed and steadily increase them, and I will also go to bed 30mins earlier, and eventually rise 30mins later, a well rested person is less likely to crave junk food, so that's a simple starter.

Until next time;

xoxo