Sometimes I find myself being submerged into an environment with people I don't know particularly well. That's fine, because most of the time you can make new friends, new work colleagues, form new relationships and contacts. However, on the odd occasion, these opportunities for inclusiveness can be stunted by people revealing their true colours. I had a sudden realisation recently, that maybe, just maybe, the reason people are so judgemental is a defence mechanism. We're always told to trust our instincts, but within the same breath 'never to judge a book by its cover'. Somewhat contradicting, don't you think? Anyway, if we are to trust our instincts, if you immediately don't get on with someone or get 'bad vibes' from a person, you should give them a second chance, right? Well, what happens after this point, do they get a third, fourth, and fifth chance?
I don't mean to include so many clichees, but a cheetah cannot change its spots. In the same way that a human ultimately cannot change innate qualities. It's perfectly normal not to click with everyone, which brings me to the point of this post:
"What do you do, when you're an outsider looking in, and you're given such an insight, that you realise what people are really like - and don't like what you see".
I've always prided myself on being a pretty good judge of character, but I'll hold my hands up and say that I have been mistaken in the past. I find it frustrating if not a little confusing, when you see the flip side to someone you thought was nice, but by the same token if someone you thought wasn't so nice, actually has a heart of gold. I just cannot comprehend why human nature has evolved in the way of fascades. Why not be yourself? You cannot act in one way and talk down someone to one set of people, and then to that person be best friends - that's just not right, and just plan conceited.
I'm sometimes glad to detatch myself from certain groupings, just because I do not want to get caught up in all of the dramas and arguments going on behind everyone's backs. I thought we were all adults - we're not on the playground anymore (and it wasn't big, nor clever back then either). Some people see it as the easy way out, and I just see it as removing stress and taking control of my own life. Of course, this can backfire, and have the opposite effect and create paranoia as well as insecurities in yourself. If someone can talk about someone like this to you - who's to say they're not doing the same about you to somebody else?
Life really is a mystery, and just when I think I've got people sussed out - the whole world crumbles around me. I'm so lucky to have an amazing family and the best partner I could ever even dream of, I just sometimes feel like there's a little piece of me missing, I kind of need something to fit that gap. However, with society developing as it is, do I really want to risk getting involved, just in case it enriches and improves my way of life? I'm undecided.
To be continued...
Until next time; xoxo
